would you say it's too cliche when people say
failures are only stupid intersections before you reach success.
people take that saying as their "guide"
each time they make a mistake (including me, of course)
but now i just find that failures don't always come easy
*i know you know*
especially, when you fail something NOT BY your lack of aptitude or ability
but by the people you TRUST to work with
and you get rejected because they just HEAR what you say, but DON'T LISTEN.
what i see is just unprofessionalism.

when you have this dream to get involved in something,
that you've been longing for, let's say, 3YEARS.
and this thing is one of the strongest reason that take to where you are, let's say, COLLEGE.
and you planned to join the program when you arrive at the right time, let's say, now.
you wish so hard, because you know you have all the qualifications in that field
but the person you have to pass thru to achieve that "moment"
is a sloppy bastard.

the waiting's so not worth that one time entry process.
this yearning for 3 years crumble just by 20 minutes talks.
i would understand and love to retry again next year,
only IF i got rejected by the sportive way.
but this, nada.

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i'm sorry if you don't understand a word i'm saying :x
because in the end,
i don't want to blame others too much
i just need to channel the anger of this split second somewhere.
nowhere, but here
and yes, i'm feeling better :)

next year, i'm coming. maybe. definitely. i don't know... thinking!