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well it's just an open up stupid diary.
i believe u will find
a lot of grammatical errors lol,
some dramas that surround my life,
and of course,
a lot of ordinary stories from
an ordinary teenager kid.
originally designed by me.
all contents are fully copyright
Mela @2008.
Mela. all rights reserved.

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purposefully confused
just wanna say this
what i know
i'm blessed
this i promise you
24 or 25 or 26
hugging you
nothing is going to change
October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 April 2009 July 2009 August 2009 September 2009 October 2009 November 2009 December 2009 February 2010 March 2010 April 2010 May 2010 June 2010 July 2010 August 2010 September 2010 October 2010 November 2010 December 2010 November 2011

All Kpop
My Soju
Nguping Jakarta
Overheard In NY
We Heart It

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Sunday, December 28, 2008

avoiding the drama

When love has come, but soon is gone...
It begs the question
Was it there?

The love was just a figment
Something we could ponder
But never express

Could love be the healing?
Healing from the hatred
The hatred from my tears
We needed this to release the stain

Willingly to be stainless
But the love is still clinging in my eyes

Though i tried to forget u
But my heart remembers u faster than my mind

Love... Is it a sin?

-taken from my old blog-
(I posted it at my oct 21st post, but I post it again here)

I wish I can turn back time and unspeak every word I said to you.
Feeling naive won't make me bond with you, it'll only lacerate the heart that has been torn into pieces.
You hold up so many attempts to be a pundit, but no hell ways to at least reply my good night messages.
Now I'm clueless...
You're mean. You're cruel. You're heartless. You're selfish. You're cold.
And those are lies.

The week comes to an end and starts off again today.
my my, the agony will laugh at me once again.
uncanny, but sure.

just like the stupid old proverb says (by moi, of course):
Loving while wasting is a fcking dumb-ass' conduct.


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burning the memories

Maybe some of you have read my post with a monkey love topic (titled Diary: Instant Love) with the whole 31 episodes in it :p
Well, I deleted it.
I can't figure out y the hell I called it love.
Tho tears did shed, but that doesn't mean he's really the fcking one.
That "thing" started off with a really fucking way for me. but like they always say, regret comes TOO late, occasionally.
The reason I deleted it is because after thinking about it for a couple of hours, maybe three, my amateur psycho analysis told me he was just a release, or so I predicted.
a release is a place where I could let go all of my feelings of unsecurity, the rage, and the solitude I've been living in.
Yeah, I discovered it because the passion I feel when meeting my almost-six-years crush is MORE than the instant crush I found.
MORE as in I truly don't falter around him and it's unconditionally.
(what can I say more? 6 years, fellas. that explains it)
The independent, farcical, prudent,"nerd" figure with a total intimate familial demeanor with his family make me keep falling and falling again.
I'm not saying that I'm a now-this-way-now-that or swaying-with-the-wind typical, but this is what I feel now.
close to derange, that describes best.
Moreover, I just watch Titanic this morning!! (for the hundreds of times LOL)
It is still the greatest love story. ever.
I have tons of bought-consciously-enthusiastic-and-ready-to-watch DVDs, but can't find time to put it in my holiday schedule... and I dont even have a holiday schedule!
I do things randomly when I'm feeling like it but dont know why minutes last sooo fcking fast. sh*t.

The worst part of this holiday is my eating frenzy going frenzierrrrr!! snap. gonna stop.
somebody slap and save me please -_-"
Besides, thinking of food my fcking disorder appetite won't bring me anywhere.
So I decided to think about schoo
*I'm rambling further and more useless*
Even then, I hope this up-coming semester turns out to be a good one like the previous one.
Even better. I hope I can keep the whole achievement I got and bring it up higher! Amen to that LOL.

Okay, my fingers are too fatigued to type, can't say anything anymore.
Let's count down to new year though it'll be late a second.

praying for everything~

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Thursday, December 25, 2008


dec 24th~
Me with the whole family went to the church to attend the first holy mass at 6.30 PM.
It was hell crowded. We got to sit outside since we came very late. Plus, I was a bit distressed -_-" cuz we didn't get to see anything occur on the altar.
Also, he wasn't there.
Yeah, that's a whole package for giving me an uproar on the xmas' eve.
But anyway,, I still could feel the spirit of "the day" itself on 25th.
So yay God.

dec 25th~
two words: weary. obese.
I think that's kinda explain everything LOL.
in the morning, I went to church for a meeting
(meeting on xmas day, what the hell were they thinking!?)
12 o'clock, I arrived at home and my whole relatives were there.
Eating. Playing. Talking. Running. Eating (did I mention it?). Laughing. Hugging.
Yea. It was great.
Feeling the christmasy scene then :D
So at night, I planned to go to church for the last christmas mass, but I accidentally dozed off *damn*
So besides going to the church, I went to the mall with my mom (is it a sin? -_-") searching the xmas tree's lamps. Ours was broken somehow.

Happy Christmas :D

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xmas greetings

Merry Christmas !!!!!


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Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Priceless Expressionss

ow my god. they're freaking adorably CUTEEE

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lucky number 8

got my report card today.
I score really fine. :D
seeded 8 (read: 1st in my class *snooty mode ON*) in parallel xDD
first time in my life. wow.
got speechless.
fcking shocked.

yes. one of my wish in the list: making my mommy hell proud. check.
feels so good.

no choice, but need to really start praying. Well, I pray. But as a pure duty, not from the heart (most of the timessss, not always :p) . starting tonight.
wish me the best.

happy early christmas :DDD

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Monday, December 22, 2008


target: The one person I've come to love.
evil plan: forget him.


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Today I discovered a change within me...
A good one, surprisingly.

I was out today..
after a long time, and that's because I had been "busy" with my eating-sleeping-holiday-activities and also partly because lately I had turned into more of an antisocial person Dx

but after hanging out with some of my friends at the church, and also looked at my early "xmas present" (who made me, for the millions of times, smiling.wide.), the access to a more lively LIFE that I have forgotten was there.
A pure euphoria.

anyway, the change once I dreamt, has arrived.

I used to believe in miracles...
now I LIVE in one: LIFE.

thanks Lord, for this non-superficiality brain of mine :D
U're superb.

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Friday, December 19, 2008

Twilight Before Xmas LOL

LOL I found this video in YouTube
and it is so


that woman's voice really sounded like the real Bella haha


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Thursday, December 18, 2008

ALERT: Kekerasan Dalam Rumah Tangga

They're adorably cute :]

ISTRI: Mana duitnya??

ISTRI: Ayolahhh.... Mana dompetmu??

SUAMI: Tidak... Aku gak mau ngasik duit!!
Kamu slalu ngabisin gajikuuuu! Huaaaaa......

ISTRI: Nah, ini dia!!

ISTRI: Makasih ya, sayy....

ISTRI: Skarang minggir dikit, say.
Aku mau shopping duluuuu


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our dearest foe : cigarette

hari ini saia maw ngepost dengan bahasa indonesia (wkakaka sok inggris cak, maaph -_-")
soalnya topik hari ini penting!!!

tujuan: menyadarkan kalian2 yg doyan ngisep nih benda berbisa >=(

aku mau ngecepret panjang lebarr nieh, tp pendek kata aja dulu deh kalo kalian males baca sampe bawah (saia maklummm -_-), ksimpulan dr isi post ini
----> akibat satu batang rokok = racun, ketagihan, candu, buang uang, ngorbanin jiwamu n org lain

tau gak sih kalo:
- Ketagihan nikotin dalam rokok sama ketagihannya dengan heroin atau kokain.
- Lebih muda kamu mulai ngisap rokok ,maka lbih kuat rasa ketagihan kamu bwt merokok.
- Kebanyakan pemakai narkoba dan peminum alkohol bermula dari perokok!!

The Substances...
Rokok mengandung kurang lebih 4000 elemen-elemen, dan setidaknya 200 diantaranya dinyatakan berbahaya bagi kesehatan. 43 diantaranya positif karsinogen (penyebab kanker). Racun utama pada rokok adalah tar, nikotin, dan karbon monoksida.

Tar adalah substansi hidrokarbon yang bersifat lengket dan menempel pada paru-paru.
Nikotin adalah zat adiktif yang mempengaruhi syaraf dan peredaran darah. Zat ini bersifat karsinogen, dan mampu memicu Kanker Paru yang mematikan.
Karbon monoksida adalah zat yang mengikat hemoglobin dalam darah, membuat darah tidak mampu mengikat oksigen.

Sisanya kalian bisa liat di gambar dan zat2 itu digunakan buat apa aja.
Beuh... gak kebayang deh kalo bahan bakar roket, bahan pencuci lantai, racun serangga, dll masuk ke dalam tubuh kita..

The Effects...
Efek racun pada rokok ini membuat pengisap asap rokok mengalami resiko (dibanding yang tidak mengisap asap rokok):

* 14x menderita kanker paru-paru, mulut, dan tenggorokan
* 4x menderita kanker esophagus
* 2x kanker kandung kemih
* 2x serangan jantung

Rokok juga meningkatkan resiko kefatalan bagi penderita pneumonia dan gagal jantung, serta tekanan darah tinggi.

Sudah slesai? Tentu belom... Sekarang aku maw ngomongin ttg perokok pasif.
Yes. Akibat rokok bwt perokok pasif dinyatakan sama berbahaya dengan perokok aktif, bahkan mungkin lebih berbahaya.

Definisi passive smoking (v) yang ak dapat dari Merriam-Webster’s Medical Dictionary yaitu, “the involuntary inhalation of tobacco smoke (as from another’s cigarette) especially by a nonsmoker “.

Asap utama (mainstream smoke) adalah asap yang dihirup dan dibuang oleh perokok aktif.

Asap sampingan adalah asap hasil pembakaran ujung rokok.

Nah, ternyata sebagian besar gas-gas yang (berpotensi) beracun adanya di asap sampingan. Gampangnya gini deh, asap utama udah kena saringan (filter) lebih dahulu sebelum masuk paru2 perokok aktif, sementara asap sampingan adalah hasil pembakaran langsung. Hubungannya apa? Ternyata 85% dari asap yang dihisap perokok pasif itu adalah asap sampingan. Hmm… perokok pasif jadi yang paling menderita kan…??!

Efek bwt perokok pasif

Efeknya itu sendiri ada dua macam, efek langsung dan tidak langsung. Efek langsungnya kayak iritasi mata, batuk-batuk, pusing, dan mual-mual. Buat penderita asma bahkan katanya bisa membuat penurunan fungsi paru-paru (walaupun baru sebentar kena asapnya).

Segitu aja? Ya ngga lah… Efek ngga langsungnya yang lebih serem.

Secara umum, perokok pasif memiliki peningkatan risiko untuk terkena kanker sebanyak 25%. Buat bayi, ada yang namanya Sudden Infant Death Syndrome, atau kematian mendadak bayi, biasanya yang umurnya kurang dari 1 tahun. Jangankan bayi, yang belum lahir saja bisa terkena dampaknya, calon ibu yang merokok atau terpapar asap rokok waktu mengandung bisa menyebabkan berbagai kelainan saat melahirkan, seperti kekurangan berat badan, posisi janin yang tidak benar, dll.

Bwt anak-anak, asap rokok bisa menyebabkan pneumonia, bronkitis, asma, infeksi telinga, dll. Bagi orang dewasa, asap rokok dapat menyebabkan berbagai jenis kanker seperti kanker paru-paru dan kanker payudara, sinus, penyakit jantung, dan menurunkan fungsi hati.


Nah…udah jelas kan sekarang kenapa kalian para perokok tidak boleh merokok di tempat umum? Kalian bukan cuma meracuni diri sendiri (which i don’t care), tapi juga nyebar racun untuk dihirup orang lain. Hormatin dunk orang yang ngga merokok.. Kalo maw beramal, jangan asap rokok dunk. Yang lain, yg lebih bermanfaat...

Denger2 nih, kapan hari liat di SBO (lupa nama acaranya, pokoknya jova yg nge-MC wktu itu)

katanya PemDa Surabaya maw ngluarin praturan kyk di Jkt yg mbahas ttg larangan merokok di tempat umum!!!

Moga2 bener, amin amin amin. Terutama di tempat ibadah!! beuhh...capek ngomongin anak2 yg nggak masuk telinga kiri atopun kanan. tp langsung mental...

anyway... keep clean and healthy

Smokers take a health risk every time they choose to light up.
That is their decision and their choice. But just as smokers have right to smoke, non-smokers also have a right to fresh air.

-Queensland Cancer Fund-

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twilight movie

"so the lamb falls in love with the lion"

Yes peoplee... what do u think about the movie?
i thought it was great. yes, a total vivid description from the book.

when i saw it for the first time, it didn't really make me go crazy like the book did.
but at least it was good.

then, i saw it for the second time... well it was getting more interesting for me. dont know why.

after seeing it for the third time. wow. i just realized, catherine hardwicke really did her job well.
it was amazing xDD

tomorrow, i will see it for the fourth time. can't get enough ;)

but it'll be the last time, i promiseeeee
*crossing my fingers and waiting for the original DVD LOL*

oh yea, by the way, cath hardwicke's not gonna direct New Moon in march 2009.
Summit Films is moving forward with a new director. They've asked Chris Weitz: the director of American Pie, About a Boy, and The Golden Compass...

Just can't wait :D

-twilight addict-

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