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well it's just an open up stupid diary.
i believe u will find
a lot of grammatical errors lol,
some dramas that surround my life,
and of course,
a lot of ordinary stories from
an ordinary teenager kid.
originally designed by me.
all contents are fully copyright
Mela @2008.
Mela. all rights reserved.

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purposefully confused
just wanna say this
what i know
i'm blessed
this i promise you
24 or 25 or 26
hugging you
nothing is going to change
October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 April 2009 July 2009 August 2009 September 2009 October 2009 November 2009 December 2009 February 2010 March 2010 April 2010 May 2010 June 2010 July 2010 August 2010 September 2010 October 2010 November 2010 December 2010 November 2011

All Kpop
My Soju
Nguping Jakarta
Overheard In NY
We Heart It

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Saturday, February 27, 2010

envy much

i shouldnt say this. but i need to let it out of my mind.

so, am gonna tell you about some of my girlfriends.

1st friend.
i've been friends with this girl since the early days in my 2nd year of senior high.
she was this typical angel-like girl. with thick dark hair, tall, thin, and very beautiful.
She was beautiful, really smart, straight, and honest.
She did modelling.
I feel like she came out of a comic book.
She was flawless.

2nd friend.
We became friends quickly after a brief meeting, since we shared the same car whenever we went to school.
She's another super friend of mine. The kind of forceful, distinct, strong, and bold figure, but fragile at times too.
She has this personality that everyone likes and she is very straightforward in words and actions.

3rd friend.
Two words: totally likable.
She pretty, cute, and funny. She's shorter than me. And she's very feminine.
She has good fashion sense, just like my 1st friend.
She used to be my best friend. We still are, but not as close as it was.

They're all my best buddies. and i'm jealous of them. literally.
It's not that I'm not being grateful towards the blessings my life has been given.
But as a girl nor as a human, i really couldnt stand the outlying balances that are visible to one's eyes.
Jealousy is humane.
I cant help but envy everything about them and pushing aside the potential substance in our friendship.
I contravene the extreme standard in being one's friend. But this is my extreme level of honesty.

Sometimes I even wander, do they really like me for who I am?
Because sometimes, the label "best friends" seems so cliche for me.
I tried my best to look compatible with them.
But still, it's so hard to catch up the realm where there's a big difference.
I lost my confidence whenever I'm with them.
They shine so bright like there are spotlights following them wherever they step over.
And I'm the one who holds the spotlight.

I dont want to say that I dont like being friends with them.
But sometimes it's so tough to overcome my nervousness around them.
To try hard to be able to look compatible with them.
To smile when I want to scream.

I love my friends.
But sometimes it feels like a burden to be friends with people who outshine so much.
And sometimes I really want to ask them if I'm really the right match for them.
Or we just became friends by chances and got stuck in the opaque relationship that I can never seem to understand.
Because I know that I still dont know you better and you still dont know me better as well.

I do really love you guys.
This is all just an honest fall-out from the tears i tend to shed once in a while for being a hypocrite too many times in front of you

"Knowin' you can always count on me for sure
That's what friends are for
Well, you came and open me
And now there's so much more I see
And so by the way I thank you"
Stevie Wonder-That's What Friends Are For

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Monday, February 22, 2010


The sun is high.
I'm sitting on the balcony.
Watching the sky turns gray.
As the rain drops slowly.
I'm putting my frown away.
And realizing I'm 19.

"There's still time for you
Time to buy
and time to lose"
Five For Fighting - 100 years


Sunday, February 14, 2010

late resolutions

today i made a list of resolutions-to-be-done-this-year:
  1. join a korean course at the language center of my campus (new recruitment)
  2. learn how to cook at my cousin's school, on either june or july. for real.
  3. being able to drive smoothly.
  4. try o pursue a scholarship, at least for my college tuition each semester.
reasons that demand me to nail them all:
  1. have enormous interest in korean culture. i've pulled off an autodidact learning of how to write and read hangul since my early high school years, and i really need to learn the vocabs and grammar :)
  2. my mom told me to. dont ask.
  3. i know that driving is in my blood. i must fulfill this task to lighten my mom's load a little bit *burning up*
  4. i want to TRY. it's just because. dont ask this too :p
tomorrow's my first day of 2nd semester.
it's a good start that i already have resolutions to motivate me along the way
and to learn about committing to certain things that i, myself ducked to my head
not just another word to be failed.

soo, wish me luck!

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another quote

i dont know why
but i really love quoting lately lol
it's motivational, for some people.
so, here's for today:

"it's kind of fun to do the impossible"

-Walt Disney




happy chinese new year

happy bloody valentine's day


"i like the way i cant keep my focus,
i watch you talk you didnt notice
i hear the words but all i can think is
we should be together"
Taylor Swift - Jump Then Fall

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Monday, February 8, 2010


"by failing to prepare,
you are preparing to fail"

-benjamin franklin


Saturday, February 6, 2010



it's 10 minutes past mellow-ing o'clock

each time i turned on the radio
the songs playing were like mocking and taunting me
*flabby feelings*

"i'm certain that i've given and oh how you can take
there's no use in you lookin
there's nothing left for you to break"

rascal flatts - pieces

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our super grandma

i know that grandmothers are biologically programmed to love us
but sometimes it's getting over the top and outbalanced.
we love her.
she loves us.
but we have to overbear her excessive naggings at times.
*poke Erika*

it's not that i don't like her being around us all times
but we need our quality times with ourselves too.
we're not 6 years old who need to be given instructions and dictations
so we can successfully manage our daily activities without getting into troubles.

well, am just pouring out the thoughts.
she's a super grandma anyway

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i never told you

"but i never told you, what i should've said
no, i never told you, i just held it in
and now, i miss everything about you
can't believe that i still want you"

colbie caillat - i never told you

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3 columns

new layout.
simplicity it is.

i'm really not a good designer or photoshoper.
wild instinct has been always being the base.

anyhow, this is the old design i made myself

ridiculous, right?

but the bright side is
i'm quite familiar now with those html thingy,
but still not close friends with photoshop lols

i was trying to figure out the 3 columns html
by juggling around in the "edit html" spot for 4 straight hours.

in the end, i like it. much.
it's for personal consumption anyway.

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Wednesday, February 3, 2010

under reconstruction


going to change to my own layout SOON




hey peeps
been on hiatus for a month and a week
i tweet more recently
sorry, baby blog :(
things have been spicing up a little bit
and lots of good things came too
and i've done some good deeds too lols *swanky*

first thing first...
in case i forget to wish you again the years after :p

HAPPY 2010

though it's february already, but i still wanna congratulate me and you all
for successfully walked over from 2009 to 2010 happily

has been
a lot to tell

gotta go now

let's adventure more, laugh more, seize more, be in the moment

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