Love really came in an unexpected way in my life. I've felt how love went in and open my heart. He came all of a sudden. In my plain and my dull days. And he brought everything I've ever dare to dream, even more. I am proudly taken by this most amazingly extraordinary guy. Someone who can fill my days and make me as a whole person. My Davin Wiratama :)
He's the only person who can raise up my spirit when I'm down, with his simple words and sweet smile. He can put a smile on my face immediately, with his simple text messages, his voice, and whenever he shows up in my doorway. He can cheer me up in every condition. He can wipe away my tears with his tender touch. He can make my tears fall with his frowns. He's the only guy who can treat me well.
I would give everything he wants. Everything. Because the way he cares for me is addictive. The way he holds me close to him is hypnotizing. And the way he loves me really like no one will ever replace that feeling.
When he hugs me, I feel warm, safe, and secure. When he pours out his magical words or falls down his tears, it makes me feel like I am the luckiest girl on this whole earth to have his heart in mine. Just being near him makes everything seem so peaceful and better.
I love to watch him sleep, just because. I love to hear him snores while he sleeps. I love to hear his heartbeat on his warm chest. Everything about him revolves around my mind.
Every thought, breath, and feeling of mine is saying "I love you". I always feel like I run out of time whenever I'm with him. Because spending time with him is the most incredibly priceless moments ever. Time goes by too fast when he's around. When he's near, my focus is all over on him.
How pure, selfless, and sincere this love I feel towards him.
How I see the real Davin Wiratama in my eyes is just so perfect. I'm in love. I'm in love. I'm deeply in love!
I would rather be miserable as long as I have you in my arms.
This I promise you, love. Won't ever go far from you.
Take my words, take my heart, take my all. It's yours to keep :)

Baby, I love you ♥

in secret we meet,
in silence i cry
for missing you so

in joy we smile,
in sunshine i thank
for God's precious gift

you are the image i see
when i feel and love

sharing thoughts
and emotions
together

the wonder that keeping us one
is always selfless

because when i love
you're all i know

mela.110610.

oftentimes, i find that my mouth is very useless.

i rarely succeed in uttering what's on my mind.
i speak through my mind, with myself.
but what i'm feeling or how i'm feeling i cant speak it out.

whenever i talk to God,
hundreds of words conveyed to Him through this mind and heart.
but when i try to speak or spill out what's on my mind - with this mouth of mine,
it's barely worked out.
:(

Especially when i'm with you.
lots of things, feelings, words i want to tell you so bad,
but in the end it is all left unsaid.
i want you to know how i really feel, verbally.
however, i show my feelings to you through how i act.
how i caress your hair or cheek.
how i hug you tightly.
how i hold your hands and play with your fingers.
how i tuck you to sleep.
how i accompany you and just be at your side.
how i search for you whenever your with your friends.
how i wait for your class to finish just to see your face.
how i wanna make you smile.
how i cry whenever you're hurt.
how i look into your eyes and tell you silently, "I'm always here for you"

but at times, i understand that you're tired with my silence.
i want to change.
i need to change.
i have to change.

***


I. L. D

i've been thinking for these past few days

and i dont know why, but i easily got too carried away lately
i'm being so melancholy, so weak, so fragile, so lame, so hesitate, so sorry...

i'm too occupied with the feeling "i-am-a-troublesome", esp with my mom.

last night, my mom picked me up from campus at 9 o'clock.
i was so exhausted, that i fell asleep right away on the passenger's seat, besides my mom's seat.
a moment later, my mom swerved the steering wheel so suddenly.
i woke up right away.
my mom was too sleepy that she almost overslept while driving and hit a person.
i was so surprised.
finally, we switched, and i was the one driving home, while my mom was sleeping.
it's the third time something like this has happened.

just so you know,
i've been juggling with my full-day activities at campus almost everyday.
i often asked my mom to pick me up at 9 or 9.30 PM,
whereas i KNEW that she came back from the office at 7 or 7.30 PM,
and she must've been so aweary, tired, and need rest.
but i forced her to drive to my faraway campus just to take me home.

the guilt in my heart wont go away easily.
i kept saying sorry to my mom for using her leisure time to pick me up.
but then, she just smiled. always smiling.

i've been considering about boarding house, but my mom wont allow me.
she said, i could always ask her if i needed to be picked up, no matter what time.

UGH.

i got so stressed out over this matter, that i cried in the bathroom.
maybe i'm being too overacted, but it's true.
i know a mother's love is unconditionally.
but as a child who wants to give back,
i hate to see her defending me all the way,
while herself gets nothing out of it, but exhaustion.

i'm such a troublesome.

God, bless her. all the way.
:(

***


"Mama, you're the queen of my heart
your love is like tears from the stars,
Mama, i just want you to know
lovin' you is like food to my soul"
Boys II Men - A Song For Mama

somehow,
i was just enjoying the moment,
edging the common sense away,
and letting my helplessness stuck out.

and today,
my favorable wandering mind came back.

thanks to a good friend of mine,
for bringing me around the borders
that i should've noted beforehand.

***

"so scared what life could hold"
Boyzone - Keep On Walking

with everything.
my family, my friends, my lecturers, my college.
just.. everything.

it's the time of the year that i feel that i have to show my gratitude to everybody.
everybody, literally.

for the committees in college that are willing to take me
for who i am and with every inadequacy i have.
with my foolishness and stubbornness.
sorry for the times when i was being so pig-headed and obstinate.
and when i got too carried away,
but you guys just smiled and said,
"it's okay. we're in this together"
one of the mildest moments i've ever gone through.
thank you.
thank you for your smiles.
:)

Communication Science's Open Forum's crews
- brief, but fun

Theater Week's crews
- awesomeness.
i got to join the greatest crew in the event which my passion takes a big part in it
*hearts*

Aku Untuk Indonesiaku's crews
- the weariest event that got me worn out, but in the end, it was all worthy

thanks thanks thanks a bunch, loves!

next committees:

1. Microwave - with Petra Campus Radio
2. P3KMABA 2010 - students' orientation
3. Petra Awards - ... i just cant wait for it haha

also to my besties:


you guys are indescribable. you give so much for me.
this moment of life with you guys i shall never forget.

-----
grateful and blessed.
praise the Lord
:)

ps:
congratulation for my mom who just had her graduation day for her Master Degree
with 3.86 GPA as cum laude!
wow~
and also, Happy birthday, ma!
i couldnt be happier for you.
you are my breath, my veins, my role-model, and everything.
i'm so lucky to have you as my mom and everything you can be.
long live the queen!
haha

♥♥♥

love. love. love.
celebrating my first birthday as a-kickass-college-student
before, i thought today will just be another ordinary day to pass through
but, HELL NO.

it's been an effingly tremendous moments to share :)


.morning surprise.
my classmates were so good in pretending.
especially Feli and Lie Chen hahaha.
they got me this cute blackforest cake and gave me a sudden surprise before the class started.
and yes, i was totally touched, i even cried a bit :p
you guys rawk me all the way :-*


.afternoon melancholy.
i was on-airing at 3-5 pm at Petra Campus Radio
because this is The Heroes' Day, we put topic about heroes in this era.
many of our friends said that parents are their number one heroes
(including moi :))
that ended up with Eddie giving us a story to read about parents.
that made me go boo-hoo, highly in the melancholy state lols.
i cried all the way til the end and thought of the vivid description that the story told
of course, my mother :)
the story was so annoyingly-beautiful :p


.nighty blast.
theennnn, the story goes from here... :)
i promised to treat the crews to eat in this duck and chicken stall
*which was absolutely delicious*
so then we ate, took pictures, made some stupidly-cute videos, and took some pictures, again.
without smelling any rat, my friend Iva took my cellphone in order of safety HAHA.
and the others were preparing the bottles filled with water and i-dont-know-what-the-hell-was-that liquid, without my knowing.
and they splashed the sticky-liquid all over me without mercy.

and just now, the updated conversation from twitter with cung-cung:

and it explains A LOT lols.

but anyway, i had a total blast today!!!
my best birthday so far :)

i l o v e y o u p c r c r e w s