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Friday, June 4, 2010

mama

i've been thinking for these past few days
and i dont know why, but i easily got too carried away lately
i'm being so melancholy, so weak, so fragile, so lame, so hesitate, so sorry...

i'm too occupied with the feeling "i-am-a-troublesome", esp with my mom.

last night, my mom picked me up from campus at 9 o'clock.
i was so exhausted, that i fell asleep right away on the passenger's seat, besides my mom's seat.
a moment later, my mom swerved the steering wheel so suddenly.
i woke up right away.
my mom was too sleepy that she almost overslept while driving and hit a person.
i was so surprised.
finally, we switched, and i was the one driving home, while my mom was sleeping.
it's the third time something like this has happened.

just so you know,
i've been juggling with my full-day activities at campus almost everyday.
i often asked my mom to pick me up at 9 or 9.30 PM,
whereas i KNEW that she came back from the office at 7 or 7.30 PM,
and she must've been so aweary, tired, and need rest.
but i forced her to drive to my faraway campus just to take me home.

the guilt in my heart wont go away easily.
i kept saying sorry to my mom for using her leisure time to pick me up.
but then, she just smiled. always smiling.

i've been considering about boarding house, but my mom wont allow me.
she said, i could always ask her if i needed to be picked up, no matter what time.

UGH.

i got so stressed out over this matter, that i cried in the bathroom.
maybe i'm being too overacted, but it's true.
i know a mother's love is unconditionally.
but as a child who wants to give back,
i hate to see her defending me all the way,
while herself gets nothing out of it, but exhaustion.


i'm such a troublesome.

God, bless her. all the way.
:(

***


"Mama, you're the queen of my heart
your love is like tears from the stars,
Mama, i just want you to know
lovin' you is like food to my soul"
Boys II Men - A Song For Mama

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4 Comments:

Anonymous feli said...

Melaaa...
I think ur mom doesn't mind to pick u up whenever u need it.. U're not a troublesome >.<
It's absolutely right that mother's love is unconditioanlly, and what we can do is just to give her an unconditional love too..hehe.. :D

June 8, 2010 at 11:32 AM 
Anonymous mela said...

lohh, i know fel that she doesnt mind AT ALL to pick me up when I need.
I just dont want things like this happen for the 2nd, or 3rd, or 4th >.<
aaah, bete loh felll.. apa aku ak ngekos ae ya? :(

June 8, 2010 at 5:18 PM 
Anonymous feli said...

klo ngekos nti ma2mu jd g da tmne mel d rmh..hehe
:O
hmm..ypa yaaa...
tp klo ngekos smntra kyk buat p3kmaba ni y gpp mel mnrtku..^^ tinggal tny mamamu blh ga.he2..

June 8, 2010 at 6:01 PM 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Meell...
this was the first time I read your blog..
And this writing of yours was really made my skin shivered.. WoW...
made me realize how many mistakes I've done but SHE still loves me no matter what.. ><

July 22, 2010 at 1:33 AM 

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