somehow,
i was just enjoying the moment,
edging the common sense away,
and letting my helplessness stuck out.

and today,
my favorable wandering mind came back.

thanks to a good friend of mine,
for bringing me around the borders
that i should've noted beforehand.

***

"so scared what life could hold"
Boyzone - Keep On Walking

most of times,
i fall a few times,
stumble above my belief,
go through incorrect intersections,
draw a smirk - most of the times- when i realize
that my foolery blocks the doubtless paths,
and turns into doubt, most of times.

most of times,
i find the answers reluctantly,
and close an eye,
and convert them into options.
i do that most of times.

when i think of it,
most of times i just sit silently,
waiting for the sky to show signs,
so i could opt the only direction
i always pass by,
and still be afraid to defy my current flow,
most of times.

and now,
i know my most-of-times
are just the significant bulletproof shield
i use to construct my small personality
and hesitating mind,
most of times.

i really need an escape!
:(



"I'm through accepting limits 'cause someone says they're so
Some things I cannot change, but till I try, I'll never know!
Too long I've been afraid of losing love I guess I've lost"
Lea Michele - Defying Gravity

"every now and then
we find a special friend,
who never lets us down,
who understands it all,
reaches out each time you fall,
you're the best friend that i've found"

Jordan Hill - Remember Me This Way

when are you gonna get all the answers
and come to understand
that I've always tried to be perfect,
while you're just sitting there leisurely
and lets the bitterest tears shed over you.
please come to the realization
that we all need you
as a person who can give back.

i beg you
...


"there are many tears in the heart that will never reach the eyes"
-ihatequotes

with everything.
my family, my friends, my lecturers, my college.
just.. everything.

it's the time of the year that i feel that i have to show my gratitude to everybody.
everybody, literally.

for the committees in college that are willing to take me
for who i am and with every inadequacy i have.
with my foolishness and stubbornness.
sorry for the times when i was being so pig-headed and obstinate.
and when i got too carried away,
but you guys just smiled and said,
"it's okay. we're in this together"
one of the mildest moments i've ever gone through.
thank you.
thank you for your smiles.
:)

Communication Science's Open Forum's crews
- brief, but fun

Theater Week's crews
- awesomeness.
i got to join the greatest crew in the event which my passion takes a big part in it
*hearts*

Aku Untuk Indonesiaku's crews
- the weariest event that got me worn out, but in the end, it was all worthy

thanks thanks thanks a bunch, loves!

next committees:

1. Microwave - with Petra Campus Radio
2. P3KMABA 2010 - students' orientation
3. Petra Awards - ... i just cant wait for it haha

also to my besties:


you guys are indescribable. you give so much for me.
this moment of life with you guys i shall never forget.

-----
grateful and blessed.
praise the Lord
:)

ps:
congratulation for my mom who just had her graduation day for her Master Degree
with 3.86 GPA as cum laude!
wow~
and also, Happy birthday, ma!
i couldnt be happier for you.
you are my breath, my veins, my role-model, and everything.
i'm so lucky to have you as my mom and everything you can be.
long live the queen!
haha

♥♥♥

the clock was tickling, time was jiggling
you came along

just like a song
in a mid of mad rainy day

fancied...
it was clearly unidentified
as mine might be

whence this odd throb came?

when doubt popped
it signified
the magic

whence this myth of sweet dreams?

was it real?

in a mid of mad rainy day
you came along
just like a song

:)

.mela.may15th2010.

two mad mad mad months.
want to spill everything out here,
but my eyebags are begging me to sleep.
:/

i'm going to pile up the yarn of tales to be told later on.
especially when i'm fully awake, not in the delusion state as now.
lots of pictures to share, stories to tell, stress to be released,
and deranged weeks to be fled off.


keeping the warm of my mushy heart under my blanket throughout the night
have a nice sleep, fine people out there!
dont let the nightmares eat your mind up
:)

the sketch about you was drawn by my wandering mind
with things i believed you had.
I got too carried away.
you are nothing like i thought you were.

the way you responded wasnt the way i expected it would be.
everybody has limits to carry out things they can do.
but then, i just smiled.

"Smile is a curve that can set a lot of things straight"
-DamnRightTweets