avoiding the drama
When love has come, but soon is gone...
It begs the question
Was it there?
The love was just a figment
Something we could ponder
But never express
Could love be the healing?
Healing from the hatred
The hatred from my tears
We needed this to release the stain
Willingly to be stainless
But the love is still clinging in my eyes
Though i tried to forget u
But my heart remembers u faster than my mind
Love... Is it a sin?
-taken from my old blog-
(I posted it at my oct 21st post, but I post it again here)
I wish I can turn back time and unspeak every word I said to you.
Feeling naive won't make me bond with you, it'll only lacerate the heart that has been torn into pieces.
You hold up so many attempts to be a pundit, but no hell ways to at least reply my good night messages.
Now I'm clueless...
You're mean. You're cruel. You're heartless. You're selfish. You're cold.
And those are lies.
The week comes to an end and starts off again today.
my my, the agony will laugh at me once again.
uncanny, but sure.
just like the stupid old proverb says (by moi, of course):
Loving while wasting is a fcking dumb-ass' conduct.
lovely~
Labels: goofy, idle streaks, love, stupidity
burning the memories
Maybe some of you have read my post with a monkey love topic (titled Diary: Instant Love) with the whole 31 episodes in it :p
Well, I deleted it.
I can't figure out y the hell I called it
love.
Tho tears did shed, but that doesn't mean he's really the
fcking one.That "thing" started off with a really fucking way for me. but like they always say, regret comes
TOO late,
occasionally.
The reason I deleted it is because after thinking about it for a couple of hours, maybe three, my amateur psycho analysis told me he was just a
release, or so I predicted.
a release is a place where I could let go all of my feelings of unsecurity, the rage, and the solitude I've been living in.
Yeah, I discovered it because the passion I feel when meeting my
almost-six-years crush is
MORE than the
instant crush I found.
MORE
as in I truly don't falter around him and it's
unconditionally.(what can I say more? 6 years, fellas. that explains it)The independent, farcical, prudent,"nerd" figure with a total intimate familial demeanor with his family make me
keep falling and
falling again.
I'm not saying that I'm a now-this-way-now-that or swaying-with-the-wind typical, but this is what I feel now.
close to derange, that describes best.
Moreover, I just watch Titanic this morning!!
(for the hundreds of times LOL)
It is still the greatest love story. ever.
I have tons of bought-consciously-enthusiastic-and-ready-to-watch DVDs, but can't find time to put it in my holiday schedule... and I dont even have a holiday schedule!
I do things randomly when I'm feeling like it but dont know why minutes last sooo fcking fast. sh*t.
The worst part of this holiday is my eating frenzy going frenzierrrrr!! snap. gonna stop.
somebody slap and save me please -_-"
Besides, thinking of food my fcking disorder appetite won't bring me anywhere.
So I decided to think about school *I'm rambling further and more useless*
Even then, I hope this up-coming semester turns out to be a good one like the previous one.
Even better. I hope I can keep the whole achievement I got and bring it up higher!
Amen to that LOL.
Okay, my fingers are too fatigued to type, can't say anything anymore.
Let's count down to new year though it'll be late a second.
praying for everything~
Labels: idle streaks, love, miracle
dec24th..dec25th
dec 24th~
Me with the whole family went to the church to attend the first holy mass at 6.30 PM.
It was hell crowded. We got to sit outside since we came very late. Plus, I was a bit distressed -_-" cuz we didn't get to see anything occur on the altar.
Also, he wasn't there.
Yeah, that's a whole package for giving me an uproar on the xmas' eve.
But anyway,, I still could feel the spirit of "the day" itself on 25th.
So yay God.
dec 25th~
two words: weary. obese.
I think that's kinda explain everything LOL.
in the morning, I went to church for a meeting
(meeting on xmas day, what the hell were they thinking!?)
12 o'clock, I arrived at home and my whole relatives were there.
Eating. Playing. Talking. Running. Eating (did I mention it?). Laughing. Hugging.
Yea. It was great.
Feeling the christmasy scene then :D
So at night, I planned to go to church for the last christmas mass, but I accidentally dozed off *damn*
So besides going to the church, I went to the mall with my mom (is it a sin? -_-") searching the xmas tree's lamps. Ours was broken somehow.
Happy Christmas :D
Labels: idle streaks, xmas
xmas greetings
Merry Christmas !!!!!:D
Labels: greetings, idle streaks, xmas
lucky number 8
yes.
got my report card today.
I score
really fine. :D
seeded 8
(read: 1st in my class *snooty mode ON*) in parallel xDD
first time in my life. wow.
got speechless.
fcking shocked.
yes. one of my wish in the list:
making my mommy hell proud. check.feels so good.
no choice, but need to really start praying. Well, I pray. But as a pure duty, not from the heart (most of the timessss, not always :p) . starting
tonight.wish me the best.
happy early christmas :DDDLabels: blessing, idle streaks, miracle, report card, xmas
fearless
target: The one person I've come to love.
evil plan: forget him.
help.
Labels: broken hearted, crap, idle streaks
superb
Sigh.
Today I discovered
a change within me...
A good one,
surprisingly.
I was out today..
after a long time, and that's because I had been "busy" with my eating-sleeping-holiday-activities and also partly because lately I had turned into more of an antisocial person Dx
but after hanging out with some of my friends at the church, and also looked at my early "xmas present" (who made me, for the millions of times, smiling.wide.), the access to a more lively LIFE that I have forgotten was there.
A pure euphoria.anyway, the change once I dreamt, has arrived.
I used to believe in miracles...
now I LIVE in
one:
LIFE.thanks Lord, for this non-superficiality
brain of mine :D
U're superb.Labels: blessing, idle streaks, miracle
Twilight Before Xmas LOL
Labels: idle streaks, joke, twilight
ALERT: Kekerasan Dalam Rumah Tangga
They're adorably cute :]
ISTRI: Mana duitnya??
ISTRI: Ayolahhh.... Mana dompetmu??
SUAMI: Tidak... Aku gak mau ngasik duit!!
Kamu slalu ngabisin gajikuuuu! Huaaaaa......
ISTRI: Nah, ini dia!!
ISTRI: Makasih ya, sayy....
ISTRI: Skarang minggir dikit, say.Aku mau shopping duluuuu
LOL xD
Labels: idle streaks, joke
our dearest foe : cigarette
hari ini saia maw ngepost dengan bahasa indonesia (wkakaka sok inggris cak, maaph -_-")
soalnya topik hari ini penting!!!
tujuan: menyadarkan kalian2 yg doyan ngisep nih benda berbisa >=(
aku mau ngecepret panjang lebarr nieh, tp pendek kata aja dulu deh kalo kalian males baca sampe bawah (saia maklummm -_-), ksimpulan dr isi post ini
----> akibat satu batang rokok = racun, ketagihan, candu, buang uang, ngorbanin jiwamu n org laintau gak sih kalo:
- Ketagihan nikotin dalam rokok sama ketagihannya dengan heroin atau kokain.
- Lebih muda kamu mulai ngisap rokok ,maka lbih kuat rasa ketagihan kamu bwt merokok.
- Kebanyakan pemakai narkoba dan peminum alkohol bermula dari perokok!!
The Substances...Rokok mengandung kurang lebih
4000 elemen-elemen, dan setidaknya
200 diantaranya dinyatakan
berbahaya bagi kesehatan. 43 diantaranya positif karsinogen (penyebab kanker). Racun utama pada rokok adalah tar, nikotin, dan karbon monoksida.
Tar adalah substansi hidrokarbon yang bersifat lengket dan menempel pada paru-paru.
Nikotin adalah zat adiktif yang mempengaruhi syaraf dan peredaran darah. Zat ini bersifat karsinogen, dan mampu memicu Kanker Paru yang mematikan.
Karbon monoksida adalah zat yang mengikat hemoglobin dalam darah, membuat darah tidak mampu mengikat oksigen.
Sisanya kalian bisa liat di gambar dan zat2 itu digunakan buat apa aja.
Beuh... gak kebayang deh kalo bahan bakar roket, bahan pencuci lantai, racun serangga, dll masuk ke dalam tubuh kita..
The Effects...Efek racun pada rokok ini membuat pengisap asap rokok mengalami resiko (dibanding yang tidak mengisap asap rokok):
* 14x menderita kanker paru-paru, mulut, dan tenggorokan
* 4x menderita kanker esophagus
* 2x kanker kandung kemih
* 2x serangan jantung
Rokok juga meningkatkan resiko kefatalan bagi penderita pneumonia dan gagal jantung, serta tekanan darah tinggi.
Sudah slesai? Tentu belom... Sekarang aku maw ngomongin ttg perokok pasif.
Yes. Akibat rokok bwt perokok pasif dinyatakan sama berbahaya dengan perokok aktif, bahkan mungkin lebih berbahaya.
Definisi passive smoking (v) yang ak dapat dari Merriam-Webster’s Medical Dictionary yaitu, “the involuntary inhalation of tobacco smoke (as from another’s cigarette) especially by a nonsmoker “.
Asap utama (mainstream smoke) adalah asap yang dihirup dan dibuang oleh perokok aktif.
Asap sampingan adalah asap hasil pembakaran ujung rokok.
Nah, ternyata sebagian besar gas-gas yang (berpotensi) beracun adanya di asap sampingan. Gampangnya gini deh, asap utama udah kena saringan (filter) lebih dahulu sebelum masuk paru2 perokok aktif, sementara asap sampingan adalah hasil pembakaran langsung. Hubungannya apa? Ternyata 85% dari asap yang dihisap perokok pasif itu adalah asap sampingan. Hmm… perokok pasif jadi yang paling menderita kan…??!
Efek bwt perokok pasif
Efeknya itu sendiri ada dua macam, efek langsung dan tidak langsung. Efek langsungnya kayak iritasi mata, batuk-batuk, pusing, dan mual-mual. Buat penderita asma bahkan katanya bisa membuat penurunan fungsi paru-paru (walaupun baru sebentar kena asapnya).
Segitu aja? Ya ngga lah… Efek ngga langsungnya yang lebih serem.
Secara umum, perokok pasif memiliki peningkatan risiko untuk terkena kanker sebanyak 25%. Buat bayi, ada yang namanya Sudden Infant Death Syndrome, atau kematian mendadak bayi, biasanya yang umurnya kurang dari 1 tahun. Jangankan bayi, yang belum lahir saja bisa terkena dampaknya, calon ibu yang merokok atau terpapar asap rokok waktu mengandung bisa menyebabkan berbagai kelainan saat melahirkan, seperti kekurangan berat badan, posisi janin yang tidak benar, dll.
Bwt anak-anak, asap rokok bisa menyebabkan pneumonia, bronkitis, asma, infeksi telinga, dll. Bagi orang dewasa, asap rokok dapat menyebabkan berbagai jenis kanker seperti kanker paru-paru dan kanker payudara, sinus, penyakit jantung, dan menurunkan fungsi hati.
Fakta-fakta
- Penyakit akibat rokok di AS diperkirakan menjangkiti sekitar 400ribu orang, termasuk yang tidak merokok secara aktif.
- 3000 orang di AS meninggal karena kanker paru-paru yang disebabkan oleh asap rokok.
- Sekitar 70% dari 3000 orang tersebut terpapar asap rokok saat berada di tempat umum.
Nah…udah jelas kan sekarang kenapa kalian para perokok tidak boleh merokok di tempat umum? Kalian bukan cuma meracuni diri sendiri (which i don’t care), tapi juga nyebar racun untuk dihirup orang lain. Hormatin dunk orang yang ngga merokok.. Kalo maw beramal, jangan asap rokok dunk. Yang lain, yg lebih bermanfaat...
Denger2 nih, kapan hari liat di SBO (lupa nama acaranya, pokoknya jova yg nge-MC wktu itu)
katanya PemDa Surabaya maw ngluarin praturan kyk di Jkt yg mbahas ttg larangan merokok di tempat umum!!!
Moga2 bener, amin amin amin. Terutama di tempat ibadah!! beuhh...capek ngomongin anak2 yg nggak masuk telinga kiri atopun kanan. tp langsung mental...
anyway... keep clean and healthy
“Smokers take a health risk every time they choose to light up.
That is their decision and their choice. But just as smokers have right to smoke, non-smokers also have a right to fresh air.”
-Queensland Cancer Fund-
Labels: cigarette, idle streaks
twilight movie
"so the lamb falls in love with the lion"
LOL.
Yes peoplee... what do u think about the movie?
i thought it was great. yes, a total vivid description from the book.
when i saw it for the first time, it didn't really make me go crazy like the book did.
but at least it was good.
then, i saw it for the second time... well it was getting more interesting for me. dont know why.
after seeing it for the third time. wow. i just realized, catherine hardwicke really did her job well.
it was amazing xDD
tomorrow, i will see it for the fourth time. can't get enough ;)
but it'll be the last time, i promiseeeee
*crossing my fingers and waiting for the original DVD LOL*oh yea, by the way, cath hardwicke's not gonna direct New Moon in march 2009.
Summit Films is moving forward with a new director. They've asked Chris Weitz: the director of American Pie, About a Boy, and The Golden Compass...
Weuw...
Just can't wait :D
-twilight addict-
Labels: idle streaks, twilight
